aspiration

The Box: Remembering the Gift
by the Terma Collective

What in your life is calling you?
When all the noise is silenced,
the meetings adjourned,
the lists laid aside,
and the wild iris blooms by itself
in the dark forest,
what still pulls on your soul?

In the silence between your heartbeats
hides a summons.
Do you hear it?
Name it, if you must,
or leave it forever nameless,
but why pretend it is not there?

Writing our stories helps us make sense of the world—Sharing our stories helps us build connections to others.

Sherry Turkle—MIT professor and leading expert on the effects of digital technologies on society—tells us, “Developmental psychology has long made the case for the importance of solitude. And now so does neuroscience. It is only when we are alone with our thoughts—not reacting to external stimuli—that we engage that part of the brain’s basic infrastructure devoted to building up a sense of our stable autobiographical past.”

Likewise, as those in the field of psychology know, not talking about important and emotional events can pose serious health risks. Yet when we express our thoughts fully through writing, our narratives shift. Negative self-talk transforms to a more positive mindset. Through writing we embody our true selves. We often find our voice.

But that’s not all. Because we spend less and less time conversing face to face, the very place where empathy is born, compassion and connection to others is diminishing. In fact, rarely do people set aside time anymore to be fully present with one another. Silent, empathic presence lays the groundwork for resilience and connection, yet seldomly do we make the time to mindfully sit, listen, and offer our wholehearted, undivided attention to others. I believe this is a colossal crisis. So what are we to do?

I believe our personal and collective power is in sharing our stories with others. When we share our writing, not only do we heal our own past traumas, we also engage in what Arlene Goldbard calls “community cultural development.” A decades old field whereby communities convene through shared concerns and aspirations in response to social issues, sharing our stories has the capacity to reshape and bind our communities. Our connections to and perceptions of others change. We become more empathetic and loving towards each other. Beloved social psychologist Brené Brown agrees. She believes vulnerability and empathy manifest when we hold spaces where deep listening takes place, spaces where we intentionally let others know that their words and voices are heard—That we see them. We hear them. That they are not alone.

Rachel Naomi Remen feels the same way. She writes in Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal, “When I was a child, people sat around kitchen tables and told their stories. We don't do that so much anymore. Sitting around the table telling stories is not just a way of passing time. It is the way that wisdom gets passed along. Despite the awesome powers of technology, many of us still do not live very well. We may need to listen to each other's stories once again.”

Our stories are the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and others. Our stories matter and so do you. This is why I created the Women’s Writing Circle. This is our space. Please join me.